Last year at a Women in Ministry retreat the leader asked us to spend about 12 minutes writing our response to this question, What is the image of God in your life at this time? What I wrote became the basis for a Statement of Faith for my church leader profile.
My image of God at this time in my life is a womb- a womb that holds the whole universe and all of its galaxies, a womb that holds heaven and earth, a womb that holds all of life and creation and cosmos within it. God holds me, surrounds me. Jesus lives in the womb of God with me; he holds me, and loves me more than I have ever known. The Spirit blankets me with energy, color, peace, joy. The Spirit loves me. All parts of God love and accept me, let me rest, be who I am and invite me into the future.
The womb of God carries all of evolution in its becoming, but doesn’t hold the judgments, mistakes of my past or humanity’s sin as its memory. God is liberation, releasing me from my burdens of self, ego, addiction, perfectionism judgment; God releases me to love others and serve others whom God holds, as all life is One. I am part of God’s evolution and evolving self. When I quiet my mind, I can hear God more clearly, feel more peaceful, and release anxiety.
I don’t need to carry the world, my worries, my family, or any burdens because God holds it all for me without my help. God doesn’t need my help in holding together the universe, its people, plans, needs, or burdens. I can be a vehicle of love and grace where God’s characteristics shine through me: womb-like love, acceptance, forgiveness, service to those in need, invitation into the future.
I’m letting go of a harsh god, like a critical parent living in my head criticizing every maneuver I make; my soul dies under this kind of god because I can never get it right, never be perfect. It’s a set up for failure because I can never do it well enough. I am not faithful, disciplined, of pure thought, or right action. I carry this perfectionist voice in my head as if it’s real. It’s a lie. How do I let this false god go? How do I release this god? How can I not give this god power over my life and my mind? I can’t, but the only real, Living, Loving, True God can release me through Jesus.
The One True God releases and loves me through the gifts of Godself in creation: living waters, grains and grapes, people and communities, all mediated through the Son and Spirit. God reaches me through the community of believers, the church of all times and places, with cleansing, nourishing, forgiving, uplifting, saving and sending grace. Through God’s gathered people, I am touched by healing, upheld in prayer, strengthened in witness and transformed by the Word of God to follow Jesus more closely. Together we share the message with everyone we possibly can, that violence and death have no power and no victory in this universe; rather, God’s creative essence, presence and life wraps around us in extravagant, lavish love and life forever.
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